ECLIPSE

It was that time of the year again, when I hosted the annual masquerade ball.

No one can know why I host this ball,

they can never know it's a ploy to get them to adopt a false version of themselves,

so I can feel better about the mask I'd become.

I get the best decorations and make sure the food is second to none.

A lavish party with all kinds of food and wine, 

so no one would ask any questions.

The halls were brimming with laughter,

loud music and dancing.

But this time none of it gave me the satisfaction I was seeking for,

hence I dissolved into the background.

I had grown tired of wearing a mask,

and so after much contemplation,

I took one final look in the mirror, 

and took off the mask.

Suddenly everywhere was dark, too dark.

All the lights dimmed and the curtains pulled down.

The hairs on my arms rose, 

and the air was filled with an unmistakable stench,

the stench of fear.

All the guests had disappeared,

so I knew it was coming from me,

coming for me.

They were all coming for me.

The fangs of betrayal, the echoes of shame,

envy, sorrow, anguish.

I know them all by name because I locked them up years ago.

There was banging in my head,

the skeletons in my closet fighting their way out.

I fell to my knees, hands on my head.

With the sun obscured, my eyes felt heavy.

Filled with a sense of dread, I dared not speak.

They were all looming, hovering like storm clouds. 

I was cold and scared, no one was coming to save me.

But then I was handed an invitation to confront the abyss,

So I did.

With this confrontation the darkness unraveled,

revealing truths I had buried deep.

As the sun clawed its way back,

each ray slicing through the thick air,

I stood and took a look at the wreckage,

ugly parts of myself scattered everywhere.

I had been seeing the sun through a mask,

I forgot just how bright it was.

The deed is done, the whispers have stilled,

and I can finally breathe again.

Herein lies the path to healing,

accepting the mess I made, returning to my creator,

taking responsibility for the damage I'd done,

and reclaiming the parts of myself I lost.

With this revelation emerged clarity,

this was the reason for an Eclipse.

A chance to unveil, realign, and rebuild.

                                                                          -L.M ROSE